“Hello and Happy Early May Bank Holiday!”
I usually hate audience participation but I make some exceptions and this post is one of them. Please, if you will, clear your throat and then say the bolded words above out loud. Now say them again, with conviction. Like you’re shouting it to a beloved friend who’s walking past your window. How did that sound? Did it feel a little… clunky? Did you feel kinda embarrassed? Did you wonder to yourself what actually is the point of this holiday? I bet you did!
Here’s the thing, I’ve lived in the UK for almost nine (9) years and I have a lot of thoughts about the Brit’s verbal use and calendar deployment of bank holidays. Before we work our way through them, let’s first define what a bank holiday is, as it was a term I didn’t know before moving here. Essentially, a bank holiday is just a national public holiday when banks are closed. Just as the Brits say beetroot instead of just beets, they like to be super specific and say bank holiday instead of just holiday or national holiday or whatever. I personally don’t like the term bank holiday because I think it’s rude to remind people of capitalist institutions in conjunction with their national time off, but I also don’t like it because it doesn’t really mean anything anymore. Sure, the stock exchange might not be open, but people are still banking and trading and working on bank holidays! Though I’d much rather we all simply call them national holidays, I will be using the official bank holiday phrasing in this post. Moving on…
ONE | What the fuck is going on in here on this day?
In the UK, we have two bank hols in May. The first, creatively called Early May Bank Holiday, falls on the first Monday. The second, called Spring Bank Holiday or Late May Bank Holiday, falls on the last Monday. Though I, as an anti-capitalist in a capitalist world, personally believe that *all weekends* should be at least three days, I’m still grateful for these government-mandated days of leisure, but from a branding perspective I think there’s loads of room for improvement.
When researching for this post, I conducted two very important interviews* with David, a community elder and lifelong British person:
interview one: Saturday 1 May
location: sofa
Me: Hey, David. Why is Monday a bank holiday?
David: It’s Labour Day.
Me: Why don’t we call it Labour Day then?
David: I don’t know, it’s just something to do with labour.
interview two: Monday 3 May aka yesterday aka Not Labour Day, aka Early May Bank Holiday
location: kitchen
Me: Hey, David. What is it you said today’s bank holiday is for?
David: I don’t know, let me look it up.
Me: No, no. Don’t look it up. You told me what it was for a few days ago and I just wanted to remember what it was you said before.
David: I said it was for Labour Day but I actually think Labour Day is the one at the end of the month.
Me: So this one is…?
David: I think it’s a celebration of spring or something.
Me: Uh-huh. Looks outside at the grey skies and hugs my cashmere turtleneck closer to me
Using the World Wide Web, I conducted additional research and learned that David, in his second interview, was closer to the mark. On Wikipedia, if you click on the Early May Bank Holiday link, you will be taken to the May Day page. However, this May Day is *not* to be confused with International Workers’ Day, which is *also* called May Day in many countries. Instead, this May Day is the one with the poles and ribbons and little flower crowns. Please, I know it’s confusing, but try not to confuse these two days with extremely different purposes that share a name.
What’s strange about this here bank holiday being a celebration of Spring is that we don’t really do anything to celebrate it in the UK?? I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m not seeing any May poles or Morris dancers leaping around town. Friends don’t wish each other a happy Early May Bank Holiday or gift one another small tokens of spring. When I was a wee girl in Minnesota, my mom would help my brothers and I make cone baskets out of colourful pieces of construction paper on May Day. We’d put cut flowers in these baskets and then loop them over our neighbours’ doorknobs, ring their bell and run away. A charming little ding-dong-ditch! As I’ve never seen any May Day celebrations on this sacred Early May Bank Holiday, I would like to suggest that we perhaps adopt this baskets of flowers thing here in the UK to help give this day purpose, structure, and tradition. It would be similar to the French tradition of giving one another Lily of the Valley (muguet en français) on the first of May. Can we just agree to do that? A little gift of flowers, next year on… actually, that brings me to my next point.
TWO | We gotta give these holidays better names!!
Early May Bank Holiday is a clunky name. I’m sorry, but it is. I urge you to say it out loud again if you don’t believe me. “Happy Early May Bank Holiday!” It doesn’t have any ring to it. The bell? Not ringing! There is so much not ringing in this name that there might not even be a bell. The bell? Early May Bank Holiday is like Mariah talking about J.Lo: she doesn’t know her!
If you look at holidays in America, they have snappy names, or names that at least give you an idea of what they are. Martin Luther King Jr Day = a day celebrating brilliant civil rights activist + minister Martin Luther King Jr. Independence Day = a movie starring Will Smith (a person I haven’t thought about in ages but feel new enthusiasm for after seeing this instagram post) but is also the day we celebrate defeating the Redcoats and doing bad things in our own name instead of the UK’s. Labor Day = the day we celebrate labor unions making the modern work week that so many of us are still beholden to despite the fact that we do not (and I cannot stress this enough) need to be working 40+ hour weeks anymore!! Capitalism. Make it make sense! Anyway, my point here is that these holidays have names and the names are good. Not only do they help you know wtf is going on on a particular day, they also help you when you’re making plans with friends, so you don’t have conversations like this:
Friend: Hey, shall we get together for the May bank holiday?
Me: Which one?
Friend: The first one.
Me: Okay! makes a note to add Ed May Bank Holiday 1 to diary and later can’t remember if it means we’re meeting at 1 or if it’s the first bank holiday or what because this holiday doesn’t have a proper fucking name!
See how that could get confusing?? The two (2) bank holiday in May deserve clear and distinctly different names. As someone who works in branding, I would like to propose that in the spirit of Easter, we call the first one May Day Monday as it’s the Monday following May Day. And I’m just spitballing here, but maybe we could call the second one, which is currently known as Late May Bank Holiday and doesn’t seem to have a specific purpose or cultural significance (it’s not a labour day as David thought), Leisure Day. Then when we make plans we can say “Hey, wanna get together on May Day Monday?” or “Hey, should we put something in the diary for Leisure Day?” No confusion there!!
THREE | Not to be greedy but we need more bank holidays.
Throughout the year, England and Wales have eight (8)*** Bank Holidays. They are: New Year’s Day, Good Friday, Easter Monday, Early May Bank Holiday, Late May Bank Holiday, August Bank Holiday, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day. Our fellow UK countrymen in Scotland have nine (9) Bank Holidays, and Northern Ireland has ten (10). Across the channel, our pals en France have twelve (12), which feels very on brand for them as they are true icons of leisure. While twelve (12) is good, it is my personal opinion that it is still not enough bank holidays! A much more satisfactory number would be fourteen (14), and if an immovable holiday (like Christmas) falls on a weekend, we should get to make it up with another holiday somewhere else in the year.
Doesn’t that seem reasonable??
You know those weird made-up sounding days that people are always banging on about on Facebook? International Sibling Day or National Cat Day or Melanoma Monday (which was also yesterday, on Early May Bank Holiday btw!). I propose that we take a look at these days and some of their more well-known, yet under-celebrated, sister days to make fourteen (14) official UK bank holidays. I’ve made a list of my favourite contenders below, but I’d love to know what days YOU think should be added to our official roster of bank hols. (If you live outside the UK, please add suggestions for your own country.)
My suggestions:
Bye Day - Either the first of February or, as in this year’s case, the first Monday in February as the first falls on a weekend. Bye day would be the day you say BYE to the very worst month, January, and hello to the shortest and second-worst month, February. These cold and dark days are so depressing, and I personally believe that we would really benefit from a little day of relaxation and celebration tucked right there in the middle.
Mother’s Day** Monday - Moms do so much work that I think they deserve not one (1), but two (2) days of celebration. On the first day, the Sunday, their loved ones should do everything for them so they don’t have to lift a finger unless they want to. The following day, Monday, mothers straight-up shouldn’t have to work. Give all moms the day off and let everyone else run things for a day! Yes, they will do it badly and there will be absolute chaos everywhere, but I think it’s only fair.
note: this day is a bonus 15th day of holiday reserved only for mothers. I will not accept any arguing or any comments like “but what about fathers??” bc what about fathers?! I’m sorry but no. Fathers already get too much credit and mothers deserve this! And I say that as someone who is not, and never will be, a mother.Earth Day - You know how some people like to say “Make every day Earth Day”? Unfortunately most people don’t even treat Earth Day like it’s Earth Day. This year, I took Earth Day off and indulged in an earthing and nature-filled four day weekend (which is why I didn’t send a post last week). In my ideal world, I would love for all of us to disengage from work, consumerism, and cars on Earth Day, and instead spend our time in nature, honouring the way the Earth grows and changes and still manages to provide for us. We could forage for food to make a beautiful springtime feast, focus our affections on our gardens and indoor plants or do some at-home DIY that would help us live more sustainably. Out of all my suggestions, this one feels like the most important. Wouldn’t it be lovely to collectively give this planet the respect and appreciation it deserves?
The Summer Solstice - All the Coachella girls can get their flower crowns out and we can have a festival celebrating the world at its most vibrant and bright and bountiful. No Midsommar hijinks allowed!
Wimbledon Champs Weekend - Wimbledon season is my favourite season and while this is completely biased, I just really feel that we need a three day weekend leading into the finals/in the middle of July. If tennis isn’t your thing, just take the day off and enjoy a long weekend in the middle of summer!
Autumn Foliage Friday - This may need to be evaluated year-on-year due to peak foliage predictions, but we should absolutely set aside one (1) Friday in late October for autumn foliage appreciation. Pumpkin spice lattes are banned on this day, as are leaf blowers.
Thanksgiving - Look, I’m not married to the name or the 4th Thursday of November thing here, but *I am* adamant that the UK should adopt a Thanksgiving-style holiday that puts family (either chosen or of origin), thankfulness and so much delicious food at the forefront. As much as I disapprove of the UK’s adoption of Black Friday, I do think that if it’s gonna happen, we might as well have a day of feasting just before it. Right?!
National Election Day - Why would you not want to make it easier for every single person in a democracy to vote?????????????????
note: this day also does not count toward the additional six (6) bank holidays that I think we deserve but would be a bonus holiday given whenever we call a general election which… isn’t it about time that that happens again?
FOUR | We need a better distribution of bank holidays.
As you can see, I’ve plotted my proposed bank holidays on the calendar above, with the exception of election day because we sadly don’t have a general election booked again until Thursday the 2nd of May 2024. (Reading that made me audibly gasp as I cannot imagine living with this arrogant and offensive clown show government for even one more month, much less THREE MORE YEARS.) I think you’ll agree that this looks like a much better distribution of holidays!
As it currently stands, we have a holiday desert from the end of August to the end of December. That is almost four (4!) entire months of zero (0!) days off and whew, that stretch is brutal. As the days get shorter and the weather colder, we need moments of joy (bank holidays!) to carry us through! Which is why I’ve proposed adding two (2) to this last quarter of the year.
You may also notice that in my ideal world, September would be the only month without a bank holiday. This is for a few reasons, the first being that August is generally a pretty low-key month because so many people take annual leave during this time. As a childless adult who can travel off-peak, I benefit from all the families holidaying in August and love to use the quiet inbox that comes with that time to take stock of my year. When September rolls round in all its back-to-school glory, we’re a nation of sun-kissed skin, fresh haircuts and newfound scholastic optimism. We don’t need a bank holiday in September because our batteries are fully charged from August’s rays. But if something happened that would necessitate a September bank holiday, I wouldn’t be mad at it– this brings me to my next and final point…
FIVE | The Royals are too stingy with their bank holiday powers.
The Queen has two birthdays, which is something I have begrudgingly looked up because honestly, the less I know about the Royal family, the better. I mean, if they want us (me) to care about them, then they should give us (me) more stuff and by stuff I mean holidays. Anyway! Back to Queenie’s birthdays.
The Queen was born, in the same way as the rest of us, on the 21st of April 1926. But because she’s so extra, the Queen has a second birthday, which is celebrated on the second Saturday of June. While I actually love the fact that she was like Spring weather is too temperamental, one wants to move one’s birthday to summer I do have a problem with two (2) things here:
1) Why have your fun summer party birthday on a Saturday and not a Friday? As a person who is extremely over the age of 30, she should know how long it takes to recover from a hangover and should give her guests and adoring public two (2) full days to recover from their celebrations.
2) Why would you not make your fun summer birthday party a bank holiday? Do the Royals not realise how much more we would like them if they gave us an excuse to sleep in and maybe day drink in the English sun? Because it seems like they fundamentally do not understand this.
When I moved here, I thought the Royals would give out bank holidays like candy. In my dumb American mind, every main character Royal marriage, death, and milestone birthday would come with a bank holiday. So imagine my surprise when Harry and Meghan got married on a Saturday like a normal couple and Prince Philip was laid to rest without the national day of mourning that BBC programming tricked us into thinking was warranted. Surely the entire country should press pause as the Royals celebrate these big moments! But no, I was very disheartened to learn that that’s not how it works.
Fortunately (though also unfortunately) if the Queen dies and Operation London Bridge**** goes into play, we will get two (2) additional bank holidays. The first will be the day of her funeral, and the second the day of the coronation (can you imagine Charles as King? lol). While I don’t wish death on anyone, I think it’s nice that we will be given these holidays. In my ideal world, though, the Queen would be giving us a few days *every year* to celebrate her while she is *alive*. If she did, maybe I’d stop rolling my eyes every time someone brings up the Royals!
Really, this all goes back to branding in the end. We need more and better branded holidays! Clap if you agree.
REMINDERS:
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If you haven’t submitted your period emoji preferences yet, there’s still time! I’ll be compiling this invaluable research in a few weeks and sharing it in a post, so please, in the name of Women in STEM, let your voice be heard!
(Read the original post here if you missed it.)
THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS TRILOGY
When I created this newsletter, I said that there was no benefit to being a paid subscriber. Earlier this month, I mentioned that I’d be sending out sporadic bonus posts to paid subscribers. In the spirit of still offering absolutely no real benefit to these lovely paid subscribers, I will be sending the first instalment of my The Fast and the Furious Trilogy as a bonus post later this week. What is The Fast and the Furious trilogy? I’m so glad you asked. I never saw The Fast and the Furious movies, despite having three brothers, but always thought they looked fun. When chatting with my younger brother Luke a few weeks ago, I suggested we watch them “together” on Saturdays in the lead up to F9. As of this past weekend, we’re three weeks in and I have a lot of thoughts. If you would like to read them, you can sign up to a paid subscription, but you’re probably not missing out on anything if you don’t.
*These interviews have not been edited for clarity..
**A note on Mother’s Day: Here in the UK it is officially called Mothering Sunday which, I’m sorry, sounds like work and not a holiday that involves breakfast in bed. And GET THIS: Historically, Mothering Sunday wasn’t even ABOUT MOTHERS. It was a day when Christians would visit their mother church, ie the church they were baptised in. But then the Americans came and ruined everything by declaring a Mother’s Day that actually recognises the people who birth us into this world and the Brits got jealous and decided to also celebrate moms. (We’re seeing this play out with Brits becoming more and more enthusiastic about Halloween and Black Friday which is something that I’m also very annoyed about and will save for a future newsletter.) As if that isn’t annoying enough, the Brits didn’t change some antiquated religious holiday to become modern Father’s day (of course they didn’t!), they just adopted the American one. So while Mothering Sunday falls on a different day to US Mother’s Day, confusing all immigrants from America who live in this country, Father’s Day is the same in both countries. While I don’t have anything against mothers and fathers both having days that celebrate them, I find it infuriating that women in the UK had to co-opt it from another day. Can’t we have Mothering Sunday and Mother’s Day? It feels so rude that it’s like some kind of hand-me-down holiday! (If you are a Brit with a different opinion/more insight into this, please do let me know as I love to learn but ugh! It feels bad to me??)
***This number is the same as the Americans and honestly I think that’s shocking. Americans are obsessed with productivity, so to have the same number of holidays as them feels extremely not good.
****Who is coming up with code names for famous deaths and how do we get them to rename our sad bank holidays??? Also omg can you believe that BBC presenters have black clothes on standby AT ALL TIMES in case this happens??? How often do those outfits get reviewed/changed/resized? Does someone iron them every day? I have so many questions!