I was going to write a nice post about my hallway today but I had 200 glasses of wine last night and am in a rather unhinged rapid-fire mood so let’s Billy on the Street some things instead. 🤗
The Britney and Elton song. Kate likes the Britney and Elton song, Hold Me Closer. She has listened to it 417 418 419 420 421 times since Friday and is listening to it right now as she writes this.
Bank holiday weekends. Kate loves bank holiday weekends. Kate would like it if the queen could please give us more bank holidays soon as there are no bank holidays between now and Christmas.
Wearing shorts. Kate has learned to like wearing shorts this summer, which is surprising to her.
Taylor Swift flexing that she’s the most productive person in the history of the world again. Kate does not like how Taylor Swift’s constant churn of new concept albums and re-recorded previous albums makes her feel unproductive and like she’s only using 1% of her brain power in comparison. Kate would like Taylor to let us have peace! (Not peace the song but, like, actual peace.)
Penne pasta. Kate thinks penne pasta is fine but would prefer a different shape if one is available.
Student loan relief. Kate loves student loan relief even though she did not personally benefit as she does not have student loans. Kate believes a rising tide lifts all boats.
Las Culturistas. Kate is currently obsessed with Las Culturistas. Why did it take her so long to start listening?
Dishwashers that tell you they’re out of salt by turning out dirty dishes: Kate does not like when the dishes that should be clean are dirty without warning and she then has to rummage around in the under-sink cupboard trying to find a bag of dishwasher salt (which is not there, she has to buy a new one) and then, once the salt is procured, she does not like having to contort her body into the belly of the dishwasher to fill the little hole with salt with no indication that it’s full enough. Kate would like to know who designed this dishwasher???
Walking vag-first into the under-sink cupboard door and bruising her mons pubis. Kate absolutely hates walking into the open under-sink cupboard door vag-first and bruising her mons pubis. Kate has never been bruised on the mons pubis before and is here to tell you that it hurts!
Butter. Kate likes butter.
Drew Barrymore. Kate likes Drew Barrymore very much. She did not, however, like being told that she looked like Drew Barrymore by her uncle who, after Kate questioned their resemblance, said, “What, Drew’s hot!” While Kate agrees that Drew is hot (especially as Dylan Sanders in Charlie’s Angels), she did not like the implication in this exchange and does not like that she has had to think about it every time she’s heard the words “Drew Barrymore” for the past 20 years.
The West End production of Moulin Rouge not having all the original songs from the iconic and perfect major motion picture directed by Baz Luhrmann. Kate does not like that she was blind-sided by the West End production of the iconic and perfect Baz Luhrmann musical, Moulin Rouge, not having all the original songs from the major motion picture. She wishes someone had told her about the new songs beforehand so she could have mentally prepared.
The West End production of Moulin Rouge. Kate likes the West End production of Moulin Rouge a great deal but would have liked it even more if Satine and Christian sang Come What May. Nonetheless, she is a fan until her 🎶dyyyyyying daaaaay.🎶
Colouring with crayons. Kate does not like colouring with crayons.
Riding a bike. Kate likes riding a bike but does not feel confident or safe doing so alongside cars. Kate thinks she would like better bike infrastructure in her town before she buys a bicycle of her own.
Turning off electrical outlets at the wall socket to save 20p on already-exorbitant energy bills here on Poop Island. Kate does! not! like! turning off electrical outlets at the wall socket to save 20p on her already-exorbitant energy bills here on Poop Island. While she understands that saving energy where we can is important to help the climate crisis, she very much resents the fact that this inept Tory government is forcing everyone to live in a joyless new order where she has to remember to turn an electrical outlet back on every time she wants to spend £5.50 to make toast or charge her phone.
Topology. Kate does not like topology. She finds it disconcerting.
The Weird Al Yankovic biopic starring Harry Potter being released on something called the Roku Channel. Kate absolutely does not like that the Weird Al Yankovic biopic starring Harry Potter is going to be released on the Roku Channel???? Kate would like it to be released on something that sounds real, please, so she can watch it on November 4th!
That back-to-school feeling. Kate likes that back-to-school feeling and is looking forward to settling into September. She hopes you feel the same.